Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
