I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
