wrigley field is MILF paradise
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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