Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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