I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
