somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
