The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I think my moral compass just broke
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
