Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
