remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
