i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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