No, you can still breathe under the balls.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize