she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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