is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
