Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
