You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
