capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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