I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize