That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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