Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize