I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
