I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
All I want is dick and wine.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
