yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
