i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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