I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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