9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
