Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
