Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
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