If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
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