you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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