why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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