How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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