maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
