I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
