So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
