I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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