I have demons in me.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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