did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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