32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
That reminds me...we need to get swords
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
