I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
