So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
porn star boner night. come get it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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