i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize