I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
