oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
