I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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