we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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