her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
