I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Define "chronic" masturbator.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
