her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
