I'm going to jail i love you
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Randomize
