Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
