You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
dude. I can hear the air.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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