hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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