In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
