It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... ๐ฏ๐๐๐
Do I even want to know?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He has to be employed and covid free. Thatโs my standard. I canโt be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize