It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
