I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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