I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
