i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
