Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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