I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
