Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize