can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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