Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize