Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
one might say we're banned from that church
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
