I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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