It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
