Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
