piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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